Saturday, July 07, 2007

- the beauty that truly exists -

Have to fuckin' work at 5pm tonight. That means it's going to be a long night. The good thing usually is that work isn't all that bad when you're actually working. It's bad thinking about going to work on a Saturday when everyone else is having fun. I'm working next Saturday too so FUN is out of the picture for me. What? All of sudden I have three shifts next week? Bloody fucked that is.
I'm just looking at the list of things I could blog about that I wrote up just before exam study week. And it occurs to me that they were issues on my mind then. Not now. Not so much, and I can't put myself into that train of thought that I once had, to 'discuss' these points. It's quite depressing to think that I can't be as passionate about the points that I wanted to express on my blog. Aiyz. Too much on my mind now. Adding to that, is my stupid units. Grr.
Let me try..... one of the points is 'beautiful sadness'.

[edit] I had the song 'SHape of my heart' by Backstreet Boys here, but it doesn't have seemed to have appeared but this is the part I was referring to;

Sadness is beautiful

Loneliness is tragical

So help me i can't win this war, oh no

Touch me now don't bother

If every second it makes me weaker

You can save me from the man i've become

This is where I heard it.. and is it not the biggest oxymoron ever? Then there was this;

I love life...Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like...It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness. (Parker and Stone)
This is actually an optimistic view of being sad. Initially, I thought it was just plain pathetic. But I think it makes you think and realise that it's true. Sadness is beautiful. I think no one is ever lonely. You only think you are alone when really, you are feeling sad most of the time. How can a child feel truly sad? Which they cannot because there will always be that something that made them happy at least once in their life. There will always be someone, anyone that loves you and whoever that may be, family, friend or lover, it will make you happy. And the sadness will come after.
It also points to how rare happiness is and that it can never be sustained. Happiness is not constant and is bound to cease at any point in time. Just like life. You never know when it is the day that is your last. And it's not that you just try to be happy every day of your life, live life to the fullest like they always say because that's really full of crap. I think it's more like indulge in your emotions, soak up every last bit of it. Feel it all, happiness, sadness, anger, envy, lust and anything and everything. If you don't feel hatred toward someone, how will you know how awful it feels? And that it should never happen again? Same goes with happiness. Why should we just dwell on happiness and realistically all of the above apply to life as well? They don't exist for people to try and ignore.
Does that explain much? Like how some people like to take the full throttle of their emotions to the extremes? There's nothing wrong with being emotional. Maybe it's just a female thing. MAYBE women understand life better than men do. And that's why there is such a barrier between us.
SOmetimes. Women take it too far. There is nothing wrong with that except for the fact that it permeates their decision making and confuses what is real and what is not. It makes them unsteady and uncertain about the things that they say, the things they decide.
SOMETIMES, it makes them love the wrong people. Then it makes them doubt their existing love. That's why I don't believe in eternal love as put by .. [insertnamehere]. Eternal love is indeed doubtful. I don't like it and I don't trust it. Maybe it's just me, that I have no faith in eternity. Why should I? If life itself cannot even be made eternal? Love can exist undenyingly, meaning you can turn left and right, and the love will always be there as long as you live. But it will not stop you from loving other people.
Can you see how emotions can make something so simple, like love, so complicated?
It's sad. But no one can deny that love is beautful. And that is why sadness is beautiful, because it came from love.
-{ missing you 7/07/2007 02:09:00 pm }-