Saturday, January 26, 2008
- gone uncherished. -
As I do my daily browse of everyone's blogs, I've realised how disinclined I have been to posting replies to people's post, just as my readers have been also.
But today I feel such a rush of emotions by the tiniest of things. And I feel like elaborating on Noelle's point about how the closest people to you have the biggest tendency to hurt you the most. I feel like I understand that now, and how certain friendships that I thought went uncherished, actually mean a whole lot to me. It feels like no matter how much I try to patch things up, things fall further and further apart, and it pains me so much that this is happening. If you remember, I have written about this before. And yes, I thought I had things sorted out and had them under control. And we managed to make sure that communication become the essence of our friendship. But it does not seem so anymore.
What do our pointless coffee sessions prove if they do not solve the problem? They feel like dodgy patching over cracked walls, and we are only fooling ourselves that this is working. I DO feel like I have put in much more effort and nothing is coming from you. I don't even know if you read my blog anymore. I don't even know if you care. If you do read and do care, and realise that it is YOU I am talking about, call me. I just want to catch up. I don't want to catch up for problem solving sessions. Just call me so I can talk to you again.
But today I feel such a rush of emotions by the tiniest of things. And I feel like elaborating on Noelle's point about how the closest people to you have the biggest tendency to hurt you the most. I feel like I understand that now, and how certain friendships that I thought went uncherished, actually mean a whole lot to me. It feels like no matter how much I try to patch things up, things fall further and further apart, and it pains me so much that this is happening. If you remember, I have written about this before. And yes, I thought I had things sorted out and had them under control. And we managed to make sure that communication become the essence of our friendship. But it does not seem so anymore.
What do our pointless coffee sessions prove if they do not solve the problem? They feel like dodgy patching over cracked walls, and we are only fooling ourselves that this is working. I DO feel like I have put in much more effort and nothing is coming from you. I don't even know if you read my blog anymore. I don't even know if you care. If you do read and do care, and realise that it is YOU I am talking about, call me. I just want to catch up. I don't want to catch up for problem solving sessions. Just call me so I can talk to you again.
-{ missing you 1/26/2008 06:43:00 pm }-