Sunday, May 31, 2009
- Because I know, I don't belong, here in heaven. -
Because I know, I don't belong, here in heaven.
Funny how things turn out.
Tonight's drive home was a trip down memory lane...
As I turned into the short-cut dark path through the industrial area, I looked on. Into the eery darkness, I put my high-beam on. Everytime I take this path, I think to myself, of all the possible freaky shit that could jump my path; a crazy hobo jump at my car, a mangled dead body on the road, an abandoned child in the middle of the road, a vengeful ghost. It shits me. I can't help it when it's as dark as that and I can't see what's ahead.
And then just as I make a left, I remember one hot February's summer in 2007 where I parked my car on that corner before turning left and sat there reading a valentine's card. It was from a colleague almost 10 years my senior and I read his words written in poor grammar and bad writing about how he liked me, not just as a little sister. I took out the present, took the perfume and ditched the box into the bushes. There was a bear and I was going to ditch that too, but then I figured, that's not fair on the bear. And there was also the card.
I went home and burned that card.
Back then, that corner was never scary... Driving was never scary. I was afraid of nothing and full of pride. I took things from people and didn't feel ashamed. I burned his thought and love like it was nothing. Because, it was nothing to me.
I couldn't have been any more braver than how I was then. Everything to gain and nothing to lose.
And then I drove past that round-about. I mean, AROUND the round-about. Sigh.
-{ missing you 5/31/2009 01:15:00 am }-
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
- She stoled my pencil case. -
She stoled my pencil case.
When she stoled my pencil case, I got really angry. It's not like it was my favouritest pencil case in the world, but because it was my pencil case. I had it for quite a while. It held all my pencils and biro's and eraser and sharpener and colour pencils - it even had some coins for recess and lunch! Even though I didn't keep it as clean as it should've been, it was containing my stuff good. It never breaked, and the zip never got caught. It was a good pencil case. Until she stoled it. Maybe I took the colour pencils out and put them elsewhere, maybe it looked a little empty and disowned. Maybe I shouldn't have left it lying around. She was alwys jealous of my pencil case. You always want what you can't have. But in this case she got it. And I got a little sad. My pencil case is by no means in a rush to come back to me. Because I would never wash it. It had stains for a reason.. it had graffitti on it for a reason. I was not going to wash it off. So now its found someone who will give it a good scrub. Too bad... I really really liked my pencil case..
Childhood never lets you down does it?
-{ missing you 5/27/2009 10:49:00 pm }-
Sunday, May 24, 2009
- all i need is time -
All I need is time.
-{ missing you 5/24/2009 07:24:00 pm }-
Thursday, May 21, 2009
- purpose. -
I live to be who I am. I live to lie, I live to cheat, I live to steal. I live to do everything that is wrong, so what makes it so right?
When there is no purpose in your life, you wonder what is there that's left for you to live for? What is it that's waiting for you in the future when you have nothing going for you in the present? There's so many people out there who deserve the chance of life I have.. but I'm here and they're there. I wish I could give my life away to someone who needs it.
When there is no purpose in your life, you wonder what is there that's left for you to live for? What is it that's waiting for you in the future when you have nothing going for you in the present? There's so many people out there who deserve the chance of life I have.. but I'm here and they're there. I wish I could give my life away to someone who needs it.
-{ missing you 5/21/2009 12:47:00 am }-
Sunday, May 03, 2009
- Bothered -
Bothered
I know, I can't let this go. But the more I think about it, the more it bothers me. I just don't see any reasons why such a person can get away with such acts of.. selfishness?
I'm not the best person to be saying what a good friend should and shouldn't do. I don't think I've made all the right choices and I defintely have let people down in the past. But I can't get my head around the fact that some people think it's ok to put down a friend's morality, just because he or she thinks that their friend isn't doing the right thing.
What constitutes as the right thing? Who are we to tell someone that what they are doing is the right or wrong thing?
It's funny, I remember these words... something to this effect: '.. he asked me if I was drunk and I told him, that it was just the way I was. That's just my personality.' Why can't everyone accept the fact that it was 'personality'? Friend's are supposed to support the 'personality' claim whereby we don't judge our friends and frankly, there is nothing wrong with drunkeness. A few misplaced words is nothing. A few bad photos is nothing. Well, nothing that can be helped if 100 photos are being snapped in my face. I can't be 100% perfect. And it wouldn't help for a friend to keep discretion either. Being discrete is nothing to be ashamed of. Girls are supposed to be discrete in manner. It is our nature to keep things in discretion and not display it for the world to impose judgement on.
I really am bothered. There is no serious situation behind it. I just can't believe that there are such things like this happening out there. I can't believe friends have resort to this kind of behaviour.
I'm no one to judge. I am merely stating a small observation. Be nice to your friends.
-{ missing you 5/03/2009 11:48:00 pm }-