Monday, January 31, 2011
- 2ne1 - i don't care-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh -
It's funny how I choose to inhibit so much detail, even though this is my space. But this time, I think I'm holding back for different reasons..
**
I'm $400 poorer, because I bought Ed an XBox. Because his friends decided to get him a Kinect (I was going to Google that to see if I got the spelling right, but fk tht). His friends found out that I didn't want Ed to get an XBox (because he has a Wii which he doesn't play with anymore) and thought that if they get him the Kinect, he'll have to get an XBox and I could do nothing about it.
Now read between the lines and guess what I'm feeling.
I never thought I'd care and do such a thing to prove other's wrong. But I guess that's it. So many people I know are adamant that they know themselves and where they would draw the line. But I see so many people erase the line they said they'd never cross. I see people care more than they ever cared even though they said they couldn't give a fuck what happens.
I don't know if this has anything to do with what I'm ranting on about but it's shitting me how much I've heard the words 'I don't care' over the past few months. I've heard 'Seriously! I don't care!' so much that my ears are bleeding. The theory goes - the more you say that you don't care - the more you really fucking care. Maybe I say it and not mean it as well, but when I hear it from others, it's so blatently obvious that they really do care and it annoys me that they think they can hide it with those three words.
We create shields and barriers on the enemy front only to shield out everyone, even our loved ones. And sometimes we end up caring too much for something petty and callow.
Last day of January and we're on our way to February already! Chinese New Year, here we come!!
Have you noticed the blog is filling up with rants again?
**
I'm $400 poorer, because I bought Ed an XBox. Because his friends decided to get him a Kinect (I was going to Google that to see if I got the spelling right, but fk tht). His friends found out that I didn't want Ed to get an XBox (because he has a Wii which he doesn't play with anymore) and thought that if they get him the Kinect, he'll have to get an XBox and I could do nothing about it.
Now read between the lines and guess what I'm feeling.
I never thought I'd care and do such a thing to prove other's wrong. But I guess that's it. So many people I know are adamant that they know themselves and where they would draw the line. But I see so many people erase the line they said they'd never cross. I see people care more than they ever cared even though they said they couldn't give a fuck what happens.
I don't know if this has anything to do with what I'm ranting on about but it's shitting me how much I've heard the words 'I don't care' over the past few months. I've heard 'Seriously! I don't care!' so much that my ears are bleeding. The theory goes - the more you say that you don't care - the more you really fucking care. Maybe I say it and not mean it as well, but when I hear it from others, it's so blatently obvious that they really do care and it annoys me that they think they can hide it with those three words.
We create shields and barriers on the enemy front only to shield out everyone, even our loved ones. And sometimes we end up caring too much for something petty and callow.
Last day of January and we're on our way to February already! Chinese New Year, here we come!!
Have you noticed the blog is filling up with rants again?
-{ missing you 1/31/2011 10:28:00 pm }-
Friday, January 28, 2011
- when memories get in the way -
So I'm in that mood where I'm reading your blog and I somehow propel myself into the thought of the days when I was still in uni. Can you believe it's been so long?
So I'm reading about numerous mentions, shoutouts and stories. Stories that we all shared once and laughed about and enjoyed. I'm faced with this pain of bringing up the good times which can no longer exist with you. And I ask myself, what went wrong? Although I may know the answers, and it may have been my fault, I still ask that damn question every fucking time you seep into my mind.
I reminisce those days where there were so many opportunities to meet people and I (tried) to put myself out there to be a friendly approachable person. Now I'm set in concrete in my comfort zone where I need not move, change or please people.
And now when you walk by, I'm met by anger, frustration and envy of that smug look on your face. I want that smug look. I don't want that look of desperation where I wish to be your friend again.
I'll leave the door on the latch if you ever come back if you ever come back
So I'm reading about numerous mentions, shoutouts and stories. Stories that we all shared once and laughed about and enjoyed. I'm faced with this pain of bringing up the good times which can no longer exist with you. And I ask myself, what went wrong? Although I may know the answers, and it may have been my fault, I still ask that damn question every fucking time you seep into my mind.
I reminisce those days where there were so many opportunities to meet people and I (tried) to put myself out there to be a friendly approachable person. Now I'm set in concrete in my comfort zone where I need not move, change or please people.
And now when you walk by, I'm met by anger, frustration and envy of that smug look on your face. I want that smug look. I don't want that look of desperation where I wish to be your friend again.
I'll leave the door on the latch if you ever come back if you ever come back
-{ missing you 1/28/2011 11:35:00 pm }-
Thursday, January 27, 2011
- Pictures of you, pictures of me -
Pictures! I keep telling myself pictures! is the way to go, it makes the blog more bearable. I was writing earlier, but then it wasn't flowing well and I thought maybe I was in more of a blog frame of mind.
I can't get over this so I need to share - I went to someone's house recently - it was a get-together. And there was this couple. And I never really caught on that they were a very PDA couple. That night, I noticed it especially. Now it's not the sort of PDA that you're thinking of so let me elaborate. Sure there was hugging and (innocent but weird) kissing.. and then there was feet fondling. That, was kind of weird-do-in-your-own-space kind of thing. I guess I didn't think much of it until BOY touched his face with the feet fondling hand and then went to grab a beer and potato chips ~___~. Then we shifted to another part of the house watching videos and we were all sprawled on the floor. This couple used the opportunity to be a bit more intimate and boy lies on girls lap, girl kisses boy's forehead, blah blah puke. Girl then shifts to lie flat on her stomach and I look away and then turn back to find BOY SITTING ON GIRLS BACK. WHAT THE F, because BOY isn't at all on the lean side. The girl squirmed and huffed, suffocating just a little.. and I couldn't bear it anymore and tried to block out their existence. It was all so hard and very uncomfortable for me. And I'm not usually one to be a bitch when it comes to couples and the shit that they do. Fuck, this was just begging me to yell 'Seriously GET A FUCKING ROOM. PLEASE.'
On a more pleasant note, we went to Caroline's housewarming on Australia Day and the apartment was beautiful. Everything about it was so nice except for the entrance which I'm not a fan of, only because it made me feel a tad claustrophobic.
I'm feeling a little dry as of recent. It's hard to explain how.. I've got a feeling..
.
..it's gonna be a little different this year.
I can't get over this so I need to share - I went to someone's house recently - it was a get-together. And there was this couple. And I never really caught on that they were a very PDA couple. That night, I noticed it especially. Now it's not the sort of PDA that you're thinking of so let me elaborate. Sure there was hugging and (innocent but weird) kissing.. and then there was feet fondling. That, was kind of weird-do-in-your-own-space kind of thing. I guess I didn't think much of it until BOY touched his face with the feet fondling hand and then went to grab a beer and potato chips ~___~. Then we shifted to another part of the house watching videos and we were all sprawled on the floor. This couple used the opportunity to be a bit more intimate and boy lies on girls lap, girl kisses boy's forehead, blah blah puke. Girl then shifts to lie flat on her stomach and I look away and then turn back to find BOY SITTING ON GIRLS BACK. WHAT THE F, because BOY isn't at all on the lean side. The girl squirmed and huffed, suffocating just a little.. and I couldn't bear it anymore and tried to block out their existence. It was all so hard and very uncomfortable for me. And I'm not usually one to be a bitch when it comes to couples and the shit that they do. Fuck, this was just begging me to yell 'Seriously GET A FUCKING ROOM. PLEASE.'
On a more pleasant note, we went to Caroline's housewarming on Australia Day and the apartment was beautiful. Everything about it was so nice except for the entrance which I'm not a fan of, only because it made me feel a tad claustrophobic.
I'm feeling a little dry as of recent. It's hard to explain how.. I've got a feeling..
.
..it's gonna be a little different this year.
-{ missing you 1/27/2011 11:33:00 pm }-
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
- Hello, Oh oh ohh ohhh -
When I dream long and extensive dreams that go on and on and on, I know something's wrong.
Sometimes this place makes me feel so sick that I just wanna yell 'get fucked'. I know that I'm a real 该死 kind of person. There's nothing that I truly deserve. This game is too easy, too hard.
Let me tell you about the day things clicked. It was when I met `him... and he followed up. And he told me he liked 'nice girls'. Since then, I think I secretly vowed I'd never be a nice girl. It's true but not true. It's like I'm nice, but not really.
I'd like to think things have changed, but I don't know. I've spiralled into unknown territory and struggling to stay afloat just to see where I am. I'm floating, but where to?
I'm living on Martin Solveig ft. Dragonette - Hello
My Yesstyle batch has shipped and on its way - minimised pores here I come! You know what would be nice? If I spent less money. And then my balance will keep increasing and that would be fucking awesome. Second job anyone?
Sometimes this place makes me feel so sick that I just wanna yell 'get fucked'. I know that I'm a real 该死 kind of person. There's nothing that I truly deserve. This game is too easy, too hard.
Let me tell you about the day things clicked. It was when I met `him... and he followed up. And he told me he liked 'nice girls'. Since then, I think I secretly vowed I'd never be a nice girl. It's true but not true. It's like I'm nice, but not really.
I'd like to think things have changed, but I don't know. I've spiralled into unknown territory and struggling to stay afloat just to see where I am. I'm floating, but where to?
I'm living on Martin Solveig ft. Dragonette - Hello
My Yesstyle batch has shipped and on its way - minimised pores here I come! You know what would be nice? If I spent less money. And then my balance will keep increasing and that would be fucking awesome. Second job anyone?
-{ missing you 1/19/2011 10:36:00 pm }-
Sunday, January 16, 2011
- Yesterdays and tomorrows -
Yesterday seems so far away already and Friday is just a memory - I wonder why time moves the way it does?
I used to imagine that there was too much time and I could do anything - later. Just enjoy what is, now. But when is it really appropriate to enjoy now, and is later ever too late?
I want to go to so many countries but there's so little time. Then I think that I have so much time ahead of me that I need to pace myself because my goals are getting beyond what I am capable of. And then there are friends and other people who you see living life because there is no guarantee of a tomorrow. How do you decide what pace you want to live at?
I know that thinking too much never helps. Sometimes, you need to go where the wind takes you. A cool breeze is always nice, especially with this hot muggy weather.
I wonder if I've been 'thinking' less as I've aged because I blog less often than when I was 19. But my thoughts then were too abstract and all over the place.
6:11pm
Just came home from an afternoon with Ed. We were supposed to go to The Imp Cafe but Ed needed to go to Officeworks so we went to East Perth and Shilla'd the afternoon away. There was nobody there but us and I like that ^^ but Ed is so embarrassing. He says really loudly 'Is it always this empty?' T.T We had some food and later on he asks who the owner is and I point to the young, good looking guy who served us our food. To my embarrassment, yet again, he replies with 'Him?! *disgust in his voice* That young guy? Really??' >.> fmlfmlfmlfml I will be shunned from Shilla if I go again with Ed! Fortunately, he liked the food and mentioned that loudly too.
Mum's birthday, Ed's birthday and Caz's house-warming/Aust Day is coming up, which means I'll be a busybee, buying gifts, booking dinners and being more of a poorbum than I already am.
I used to imagine that there was too much time and I could do anything - later. Just enjoy what is, now. But when is it really appropriate to enjoy now, and is later ever too late?
I want to go to so many countries but there's so little time. Then I think that I have so much time ahead of me that I need to pace myself because my goals are getting beyond what I am capable of. And then there are friends and other people who you see living life because there is no guarantee of a tomorrow. How do you decide what pace you want to live at?
I know that thinking too much never helps. Sometimes, you need to go where the wind takes you. A cool breeze is always nice, especially with this hot muggy weather.
I wonder if I've been 'thinking' less as I've aged because I blog less often than when I was 19. But my thoughts then were too abstract and all over the place.
6:11pm
Just came home from an afternoon with Ed. We were supposed to go to The Imp Cafe but Ed needed to go to Officeworks so we went to East Perth and Shilla'd the afternoon away. There was nobody there but us and I like that ^^ but Ed is so embarrassing. He says really loudly 'Is it always this empty?' T.T We had some food and later on he asks who the owner is and I point to the young, good looking guy who served us our food. To my embarrassment, yet again, he replies with 'Him?! *disgust in his voice* That young guy? Really??' >.> fmlfmlfmlfml I will be shunned from Shilla if I go again with Ed! Fortunately, he liked the food and mentioned that loudly too.
Mum's birthday, Ed's birthday and Caz's house-warming/Aust Day is coming up, which means I'll be a busybee, buying gifts, booking dinners and being more of a poorbum than I already am.
-{ missing you 1/16/2011 01:59:00 pm }-
Saturday, January 15, 2011
- Totoro's butt -
See my Totoro's butt!
Genuine and made in Japan!
I have to super-duper love my Totoro (which isn't hard I might add) since Ed won't stop reminding me how much it costed him. Yeah, beside the fact that he spent soo much more money just going there and having an AWESOME time. ^^
Genuine and made in Japan!I have to super-duper love my Totoro (which isn't hard I might add) since Ed won't stop reminding me how much it costed him. Yeah, beside the fact that he spent soo much more money just going there and having an AWESOME time. ^^He also got me this:
It wasn't locked when he gave it to me because he wanted to let me do it. *click* heart is LOCKED FOREVERRRRRR *dun dun dunnnnn* LOL
It wasn't locked when he gave it to me because he wanted to let me do it. *click* heart is LOCKED FOREVERRRRRR *dun dun dunnnnn* LOL
We went to the newly renovated Atrium with Janistair on Thursday and I did NOT eat my money's worth. Very very disappointing. My dress was constricting my breathing AND eating so I was dieing at the table whilst everyone was laughing and checking out girls with nice butts and open-back dresses.
Last night I went to Friday drinks for once with colleagues for post-birthday celebrations. We went to Andaluz which was its usual atmosphere but it was made awesome with my colleagues. We then hopped our way to The George and then all the way to Northbridge to go to Harry's Bar but I didn't stay long after that and went home. It was funny the way a few of them reacted to the 'tipsy Lisa' because I'm usually so quiet at work. That's why these people love Friday drinks. And just to make it interesting, that's why I don't go often. But definitely a fun night.
-{ missing you 1/15/2011 03:06:00 pm }-
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
- Remember -
Just remember.. be thankful you have a bed to sleep in, be thankful of your dry clothes. Be thankful of the food you ate tonight and be thankful for a hot shower.
And just before you rage about how shit Perth is (as we ALL do), be thankful that our houses aren't flooded and take some time to think about the hard times Queensland people are going through.
And just before you rage about how shit Perth is (as we ALL do), be thankful that our houses aren't flooded and take some time to think about the hard times Queensland people are going through.
-{ missing you 1/12/2011 10:20:00 pm }-
Sunday, January 02, 2011
- Out with the old and in with the New year 2011 -
Happy New Year everyone!
As I said last year, what a year it was and what a year it will be, once again. =)
I think we always try to make sure we keep on track with our lives by making these 'new year's resolutions', but I find that making them is just like telling mum I will tidy up my room. We know it will never happen. And even if it does, it will just go back to being untidy anyway.
I made a few personal resolutions for 2010, which ended up EPIC FAIL. Sooo epic that it was destructive to my id, ego, values and soul. Well, that is how I feel. But that's ok, because I accept my failures. I accept all the wrong doings and I feel that I will learn from them. If I don't get my forgiveness and second-chances, then I will accept, c'est la vie.
Looking back on my Jan 1 2010 post, I realised that I proved myself wrong with a theory I concocted. I said that since I started the year off chillaxed, the year ahead would be chillaxed also and I was quite wrong. I partied more than I expected to. And things were personally intense. So there was not much chillaxing.
But that's ok. I wont be making many resolutions this year, well not big ones anyway. I will let it slide and see what happens.
But one thing is for sure: out with the old -
...and in with the new!
My old yucky shoes look rank, but they were very precious to me. They didn't cost me much but they went through so much with me. They had their last trip during Melbourne where they took on soo much for me. So I decided to let them go and treat myself to the Tony Bianco's which I had my eye on since day 1 of our Melbourne trip.
****
So hopefully, things will go smoothly and good. I hope I'll make the right decisions and not hurt the id, ego, self and soul and somehow regain my beliefs, morales and integrity. Oh integrity, where art thou, integrity...
-{ missing you 1/02/2011 10:53:00 pm }-