Monday, June 19, 2006
- End of the world -
I shouldn't be blogging because I am way behind on my study and I have an exam tomorrow morning. But so many things have compelled me to post everything down.
Michelle's comments on books reminded me that I just finished 'Mao's last dancer' by Li CunXin (yes, just before I go to bed each night, which is probably the reason why I finish study early to 'go to bed'). Not surprisingly, it was such a good read. The length of the book tells you that you'll be going through the story of his life the way he lived it. All the ups and downs, you almost literally live it with him because of the way he portrays himself and the extent of description given. It's so good that, it almost gives you hope that you can be somebody too. But in reality, not everybody can be somebody. Most of us will be living life for ourselves and with our taken-for-granted lives, and will have no such motivation as he did to succeed in a world as the one we live in.
The book provided me with a deep self-reflection to realise that I once did have that spark to achieve goals that I thought were unachievable for myself. To have gotten where I wanted, two and a half years ago is still a shock for me that I can't even see where I had gotten my motivation from. To see the way I try to motivate myself now (or even not at all at some times), shows me how much my 'Self' and esteem level, as well as how I look on life now, have all deteriorated. Quite sad really, because now I have no goal in life, and I see that I am aimlessly achieving for an unknown reason.
These few days have been real bad. I've been heaps 'emo-tional' and I can't really figure out why. There's too many things going on at once, and I have gotten myself tangled in my troubles and sadnesses and confusions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I managed to somehow...'finish' up studying and catch a bit of the soccer last night. I think Australia's quite a good team to have kept up... until the second goal. I might have been frustrated when Fred kicked a confirmed win for Brazil, but I knew this would finally end Australia's arrogance. You know how many bloody times I've seen Cahill's and Aloisi's goals?!?! Bro's with me there.
There's something I'm forgetting, and I can't quite put my finger on it.
There may be a person's name to mention but I can't quite REMEMBER YOUR NAME. mwahahaha, evil-nesses. You should know who you are. I wont give you the satisfaction of mentioning you name, yet I will give you face from not insulting you in each and every of my blogs, ok?
~Listening to: Nan Quan Mama's Color Palette album.
Michelle's comments on books reminded me that I just finished 'Mao's last dancer' by Li CunXin (yes, just before I go to bed each night, which is probably the reason why I finish study early to 'go to bed'). Not surprisingly, it was such a good read. The length of the book tells you that you'll be going through the story of his life the way he lived it. All the ups and downs, you almost literally live it with him because of the way he portrays himself and the extent of description given. It's so good that, it almost gives you hope that you can be somebody too. But in reality, not everybody can be somebody. Most of us will be living life for ourselves and with our taken-for-granted lives, and will have no such motivation as he did to succeed in a world as the one we live in.
The book provided me with a deep self-reflection to realise that I once did have that spark to achieve goals that I thought were unachievable for myself. To have gotten where I wanted, two and a half years ago is still a shock for me that I can't even see where I had gotten my motivation from. To see the way I try to motivate myself now (or even not at all at some times), shows me how much my 'Self' and esteem level, as well as how I look on life now, have all deteriorated. Quite sad really, because now I have no goal in life, and I see that I am aimlessly achieving for an unknown reason.
These few days have been real bad. I've been heaps 'emo-tional' and I can't really figure out why. There's too many things going on at once, and I have gotten myself tangled in my troubles and sadnesses and confusions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I managed to somehow...'finish' up studying and catch a bit of the soccer last night. I think Australia's quite a good team to have kept up... until the second goal. I might have been frustrated when Fred kicked a confirmed win for Brazil, but I knew this would finally end Australia's arrogance. You know how many bloody times I've seen Cahill's and Aloisi's goals?!?! Bro's with me there.
There's something I'm forgetting, and I can't quite put my finger on it.
There may be a person's name to mention but I can't quite REMEMBER YOUR NAME. mwahahaha, evil-nesses. You should know who you are. I wont give you the satisfaction of mentioning you name, yet I will give you face from not insulting you in each and every of my blogs, ok?
~Listening to: Nan Quan Mama's Color Palette album.
-{ missing you 6/19/2006 02:01:00 pm }-