Saturday, August 26, 2006
- One thousand words -
There's a lot to say, but no time to say it. Also, I blame a lot on my memory. Everything's fucking up lately, even the godamn computer.
So what's on next week... well after tonight and tomorrow of stupid assignment work, it's a week back to normal, minus assignments, for a little while. But I have flight tickets to stress about, my dress, a father's day gift, and my financial situation. Which is broke. Oh yeah, and my mcw stuff to do..man so much crap to do.
This may just be the pessimistic 'Me' talking, but every day I am reinforced by the fact that you can rely on nobody but you. Sympathy is going to get you anywhere, and talking probably doesn't help most of the time, unless actions will be taken.
I remember this incident with a certain individual, where we were having a small conversation about our timetables. What was raised was the fact that this person had a really early start and a late finish. My response?
"Mann, that's bad. Feel sorry for ya," And what I got from this person was a very direct and serious:
"Oh, umm, no I don't take sympathy. From anybody." What can I say? The person doesn't take sympathy. Good for them. But I did feel like telling them to chill, 'cos I meant it as a figure of speech. What ever.
But are we always waiting, and relying on people to make us feel better? Do you ever find yourself sitting there with a 'look', hoping someone will catch on, and ask you what's wrong and if you're ok? Or do you just not-so-subtly act irritated to make yourself known to the world so the whole frickin' world will know that you're falling apart?
I say, deal with it. It's your own fucking problem, so deal with it in your own fucking way. Everybody doesn't need to get involved.
Yes, wow. Cold words yeah? Now I'm not saying that talking isn't an outlet. What ever, this is what I'm saying; when I have a problem, I try not to let my feelings show to people uninvolved unless I'm seriously distressed. I'm trying not to tell people about every small problem I'm having because I'm finding that people don't care and they are saying things they think I'll want to hear. And I don't mind. It just shows you how your problem is your own. And nobody can help you but you. I've said this before I think. But this way of dealing with things is all to the exception of one person that I will allow myself to rant on about myself.
Everyone's heard of that saying, if you want things done, do it yourself, yeah? Isn't that true?
Ok. So if you have a problem, the question is, after all this, what will I do about it? If you talk to me. Yes, I will listen. You are my friend, I will do nothing less. Will I give you advice? If you want me to, and if it is within my limits to give advice. Will I be irritated? Well, let's see what you're talking to me about. Listen to yourself. Have you told me this before? Are you whining and doing nothing about it? Is it a problem that I can't solve, yet you still think you will tell me, because you have nothing else better to say? You've probably unintentionally irritated me, so the answer is yes.
Someone said to me, in reply to the conversation of me going to the msu ball, 'There's alcohol, so you can go and drink heaps and drown out your sorrows'. Wow, dude... who said I had sorrows? But I don't blame him for thinking that I'm always sad. People, I'm not always sad. It's just like no one's always happy.
I'd like to think I'm a realist.
~Listening to: Khalil Fong...
So what's on next week... well after tonight and tomorrow of stupid assignment work, it's a week back to normal, minus assignments, for a little while. But I have flight tickets to stress about, my dress, a father's day gift, and my financial situation. Which is broke. Oh yeah, and my mcw stuff to do..man so much crap to do.
This may just be the pessimistic 'Me' talking, but every day I am reinforced by the fact that you can rely on nobody but you. Sympathy is going to get you anywhere, and talking probably doesn't help most of the time, unless actions will be taken.
I remember this incident with a certain individual, where we were having a small conversation about our timetables. What was raised was the fact that this person had a really early start and a late finish. My response?
"Mann, that's bad. Feel sorry for ya," And what I got from this person was a very direct and serious:
"Oh, umm, no I don't take sympathy. From anybody." What can I say? The person doesn't take sympathy. Good for them. But I did feel like telling them to chill, 'cos I meant it as a figure of speech. What ever.
But are we always waiting, and relying on people to make us feel better? Do you ever find yourself sitting there with a 'look', hoping someone will catch on, and ask you what's wrong and if you're ok? Or do you just not-so-subtly act irritated to make yourself known to the world so the whole frickin' world will know that you're falling apart?
I say, deal with it. It's your own fucking problem, so deal with it in your own fucking way. Everybody doesn't need to get involved.
Yes, wow. Cold words yeah? Now I'm not saying that talking isn't an outlet. What ever, this is what I'm saying; when I have a problem, I try not to let my feelings show to people uninvolved unless I'm seriously distressed. I'm trying not to tell people about every small problem I'm having because I'm finding that people don't care and they are saying things they think I'll want to hear. And I don't mind. It just shows you how your problem is your own. And nobody can help you but you. I've said this before I think. But this way of dealing with things is all to the exception of one person that I will allow myself to rant on about myself.
Everyone's heard of that saying, if you want things done, do it yourself, yeah? Isn't that true?
Ok. So if you have a problem, the question is, after all this, what will I do about it? If you talk to me. Yes, I will listen. You are my friend, I will do nothing less. Will I give you advice? If you want me to, and if it is within my limits to give advice. Will I be irritated? Well, let's see what you're talking to me about. Listen to yourself. Have you told me this before? Are you whining and doing nothing about it? Is it a problem that I can't solve, yet you still think you will tell me, because you have nothing else better to say? You've probably unintentionally irritated me, so the answer is yes.
Someone said to me, in reply to the conversation of me going to the msu ball, 'There's alcohol, so you can go and drink heaps and drown out your sorrows'. Wow, dude... who said I had sorrows? But I don't blame him for thinking that I'm always sad. People, I'm not always sad. It's just like no one's always happy.
I'd like to think I'm a realist.
~Listening to: Khalil Fong...
-{ missing you 8/26/2006 10:56:00 pm }-