Friday, January 19, 2007
- Egoist -
I've just been reading Kenny Sia's blog for the past half hour.. and I really admire his blog, with all his pics and all.
This has been the shit part of the holidays after coming back from Malaysia. These few weeks has been shit on its own.
After watching 'Pursuit of Happiness', I conclude it will be part of the moderately-crap list of movies watched. The ending was wayyyyyyyyyyy to happy for my likings. I thought he said that happiness could only be pursued and stuff, but right at the end he said he was happy. I don't get it.
There's no problem with being happy, don't get me wrong. But it's soo hard for mee to be happy. Why? I don't know. Maybe I have high expectations of what happy is, and the fact that I'm happy at very seldom times?
I think happy got left back in Malaysia where I had no care in the world, slept 'til whenever I wanted, ate what I wanted, did what I pleased without giving a shit what happened orwhat others would think.
And here we go again through the treacherous cycle that is what society thinks. 'Cos I give a fuck how I'm perceived. But to what extent? And why? 'Cos I recall telling myself that I'll be living for myself and not others this time. So can I ever do what I say? No. 'Cos recently, what I've said, I haven't been true to my word. That is in the case of my mum. But that's another .. story.
The fact is, I have no confidence in myself. I have no rock. I have nothing. And there goes my pessimistic self again.
This has been the shit part of the holidays after coming back from Malaysia. These few weeks has been shit on its own.
After watching 'Pursuit of Happiness', I conclude it will be part of the moderately-crap list of movies watched. The ending was wayyyyyyyyyyy to happy for my likings. I thought he said that happiness could only be pursued and stuff, but right at the end he said he was happy. I don't get it.
There's no problem with being happy, don't get me wrong. But it's soo hard for mee to be happy. Why? I don't know. Maybe I have high expectations of what happy is, and the fact that I'm happy at very seldom times?
I think happy got left back in Malaysia where I had no care in the world, slept 'til whenever I wanted, ate what I wanted, did what I pleased without giving a shit what happened orwhat others would think.
And here we go again through the treacherous cycle that is what society thinks. 'Cos I give a fuck how I'm perceived. But to what extent? And why? 'Cos I recall telling myself that I'll be living for myself and not others this time. So can I ever do what I say? No. 'Cos recently, what I've said, I haven't been true to my word. That is in the case of my mum. But that's another .. story.
The fact is, I have no confidence in myself. I have no rock. I have nothing. And there goes my pessimistic self again.
-{ missing you 1/19/2007 02:53:00 pm }-