Wednesday, March 28, 2007
- I dreamt of him saying he'll leave her for me -
*waves frantically* My head is full of so many thoughts and it's time to do some cleansing.
Thoughts of what? I'm not too sure myself. It feel heavy and full.
Had an interesting night the other night. Ok, maybe I should just come out and say it 'cos we were all thinking it. Boring. Boring night out. But I wasn't too bothered. What bothered me was seeing someone from my past.
Yep. My past, my highschool past that is. And it's time for some revealing for those who may be curious -looking at you Kim-.
Should I name? No, maybe I shouldn't 'cos it's not gonna end pretty.
He was cute, confident and funny. On the first week of highschool, he came and talked to me. And there it began, my affiliation with ... him. Let's call it the highschool crush. Indeed it was. It was sooo teeny-bopper, I feel embarrassed thinking about it. And the fact that I grew up so much during those days.
So it was like, shy little me, admiring him from a distance. What, was it.. like the following year we did start to talk. Small talk.. but the funny thing is, I really think he was that part of my life that was really insignificant, because I don't remember much of the days with him. Other things I remember. Other things meant much more to me. But yeah, small talk. I got over my crush in that year, and the next year my friend befriended him. And that's when I started to see this other side of him. The wiked evil side of him. The almost gay side of him. I never knew a bitchier guy. He obviously had something against me or my friends because he would do all sorts of lame things like bitch about 'her' to me. And apparantly he did the same vice versa. I found that out at a time I didn't care anymore, or else that would've upset me.
He even ruined was it the year 11 ball? I didn't go, I watched the debacle. I think it was him anyway. He could've been our friend. But he chose not to.
He changed the way I viewed people. He was that one guy that was genuinely good but chose not to show it. I really think I did something to offend him. But I don't know and it doesn't matter now like it never mattered then.
He was the one who foreshadowed all the people that I would meet that were just as bad as him, and he allowed me to be strong about it, live through it. He doesn't know how much he's done for me, and neither did I for that fact. It's just that it's the feeling I get when I see him.
And that night I saw him. I think he saw me too. But I chose to ignore. I really wanted to give him a hug. He gives the best hugs. I wanted to pretend we were old friends, like that photo that we took shows. Pretend like we pretended back in the highschool days.
Pretend like everything is ok.
Poo. Now I'm all glum. All I do is think. Think about the summer, thinking about silly things that don't mean a thing. And the sucker that I am. Cos all I want is confirmation and it always hurts. I'm always hurting myself.
Someone please cheer me up for tomorrow. I don't want to be glum tomorrow.
I have Lost Prophets. yay.
honestly,
couldn't be with me
like it was before
neither less or more
because when I close my eyes at night I realized that no one else could ever take your place
I still can feel and its so real
when your touching me
kisses endlessly
its just a place in the sun
where our loves began
I miss you
yes I miss you
I always stuff this part up, need more karaoking. *hint*
Thoughts of what? I'm not too sure myself. It feel heavy and full.
Had an interesting night the other night. Ok, maybe I should just come out and say it 'cos we were all thinking it. Boring. Boring night out. But I wasn't too bothered. What bothered me was seeing someone from my past.
Yep. My past, my highschool past that is. And it's time for some revealing for those who may be curious -looking at you Kim-.
Should I name? No, maybe I shouldn't 'cos it's not gonna end pretty.
He was cute, confident and funny. On the first week of highschool, he came and talked to me. And there it began, my affiliation with ... him. Let's call it the highschool crush. Indeed it was. It was sooo teeny-bopper, I feel embarrassed thinking about it. And the fact that I grew up so much during those days.
So it was like, shy little me, admiring him from a distance. What, was it.. like the following year we did start to talk. Small talk.. but the funny thing is, I really think he was that part of my life that was really insignificant, because I don't remember much of the days with him. Other things I remember. Other things meant much more to me. But yeah, small talk. I got over my crush in that year, and the next year my friend befriended him. And that's when I started to see this other side of him. The wiked evil side of him. The almost gay side of him. I never knew a bitchier guy. He obviously had something against me or my friends because he would do all sorts of lame things like bitch about 'her' to me. And apparantly he did the same vice versa. I found that out at a time I didn't care anymore, or else that would've upset me.
He even ruined was it the year 11 ball? I didn't go, I watched the debacle. I think it was him anyway. He could've been our friend. But he chose not to.
He changed the way I viewed people. He was that one guy that was genuinely good but chose not to show it. I really think I did something to offend him. But I don't know and it doesn't matter now like it never mattered then.
He was the one who foreshadowed all the people that I would meet that were just as bad as him, and he allowed me to be strong about it, live through it. He doesn't know how much he's done for me, and neither did I for that fact. It's just that it's the feeling I get when I see him.
And that night I saw him. I think he saw me too. But I chose to ignore. I really wanted to give him a hug. He gives the best hugs. I wanted to pretend we were old friends, like that photo that we took shows. Pretend like we pretended back in the highschool days.
Pretend like everything is ok.
Poo. Now I'm all glum. All I do is think. Think about the summer, thinking about silly things that don't mean a thing. And the sucker that I am. Cos all I want is confirmation and it always hurts. I'm always hurting myself.
Someone please cheer me up for tomorrow. I don't want to be glum tomorrow.
I have Lost Prophets. yay.
honestly,
couldn't be with me
like it was before
neither less or more
because when I close my eyes at night I realized that no one else could ever take your place
I still can feel and its so real
when your touching me
kisses endlessly
its just a place in the sun
where our loves began
I miss you
yes I miss you
I always stuff this part up, need more karaoking. *hint*
-{ missing you 3/28/2007 07:42:00 pm }-