Friday, July 27, 2007
- the thought that counts -
I was just thinking...
What makes you tell people things that you hold as personal? What makes one person privy to the information and another not? It is the common idea that your 'best friend' would be the one that has access to this information, and those less close with less private information known to them about your life. Is that the way it should work? Is that really the way you want it to work?
I don't like to categorise my friends, but I guess it's something that is unconsciously done. I want to think I have friends and acquaintences. I have friends I see often and friends I don't see so often. I have friends that I can talk little to and friends I can blab endlessly to. It's all the same. They all want the same thing. To be your friend. And to see you happy.
I used to have trust issues and I sometimes think I still do. I think it's more of a security thing, thinking if I trust people less, I won't get hurt as much as I used to when I trusted everyone. But did I trust everyone back then? I merely trusted the few I thought were my friends who turned out not to be. That's all. It sucks how a small group of individuals can effect a human being to never trust again. But unconsciously, I trust. I trusted and made friends. Which is a good thing. Recently there have been things I've told people that I never thought I would mention. But sometimes, things you don't want to talk about, should be talked about. It's not about the shame. It's not about the anger. It's about looking at this incident, this mistake that you made and saying, 'yes, it was an experience. One that I will keep reminding myself of. That there were good things to it. And that by smiling, means you have finally moved on.
No matter how much you talk about it, if you can smile after the thought or the telling of the story, you're over it. I think that's why I'm so happy this week. I told the story twice. And it made me feel good. Tingly all over.
I feel happy. I feel like smiling. Maybe one day, I can tell you too. I will. I promise, one day this post will come. Because it's a part of me. And I want you all to get to know me. Even if we don't talk that much :))
Smile people
What makes you tell people things that you hold as personal? What makes one person privy to the information and another not? It is the common idea that your 'best friend' would be the one that has access to this information, and those less close with less private information known to them about your life. Is that the way it should work? Is that really the way you want it to work?
I don't like to categorise my friends, but I guess it's something that is unconsciously done. I want to think I have friends and acquaintences. I have friends I see often and friends I don't see so often. I have friends that I can talk little to and friends I can blab endlessly to. It's all the same. They all want the same thing. To be your friend. And to see you happy.
I used to have trust issues and I sometimes think I still do. I think it's more of a security thing, thinking if I trust people less, I won't get hurt as much as I used to when I trusted everyone. But did I trust everyone back then? I merely trusted the few I thought were my friends who turned out not to be. That's all. It sucks how a small group of individuals can effect a human being to never trust again. But unconsciously, I trust. I trusted and made friends. Which is a good thing. Recently there have been things I've told people that I never thought I would mention. But sometimes, things you don't want to talk about, should be talked about. It's not about the shame. It's not about the anger. It's about looking at this incident, this mistake that you made and saying, 'yes, it was an experience. One that I will keep reminding myself of. That there were good things to it. And that by smiling, means you have finally moved on.
No matter how much you talk about it, if you can smile after the thought or the telling of the story, you're over it. I think that's why I'm so happy this week. I told the story twice. And it made me feel good. Tingly all over.
I feel happy. I feel like smiling. Maybe one day, I can tell you too. I will. I promise, one day this post will come. Because it's a part of me. And I want you all to get to know me. Even if we don't talk that much :))
Smile people
-{ missing you 7/27/2007 12:36:00 pm }-