Saturday, July 21, 2007
- twinkle twinkle little star.. -
I don't think anyone updates their blog like I do. But then .. I haven't done so over the weeks have I? I forgot to go through my archives before I wrote this.. so I dunno...
Maybe it's 'cos I write so much shit that I can't remember it all. But in the past day or two, I've been having ideas on things to blog. And I'm sitting there squirming, trying to keep it in my head so the next time I come to the computer, I can remember it and blog it. But I can't remember!! Everything slips through me like grains of sand..
I'm amidst watching Corner with Love. And it's good. Typical love story. It's cute.
So....... who loves me enough to buy the things on my wish list for me?
Something triggered a thought for me the other day. It was really random. The thought of my lost sister. Ok she's not lost. Just gone. I never missed her so much until that day. And she's been gone for almost 6 years. She was the best sister I never had. I always thought she was just my really older friend who always came over to see me do nothing. I never thought about how much she taught me. All the little things in life.
Aware that she had unhappiness in her life, I always saw the smiled she had on her face and it was that and confindence that she portrayed to the world. I thought I'd never feel what she felt. Because her life was too dramatic. But that is life. Dramatic.
She always had time for me. No matter what. It never occurred to me that whenever I wanted to go over to her house I could. Whenever I wanted her at my house 'cos I couldn't be bothered to walk to hers, she would come. Whenever I wanted to go to the park she would take me.
When she left Australia, I was so angry that she never confided in me the tragics of her life. I could see it growing in her. I saw. Everybody saw. But she didn't say a word and continued smiling while her heart was crying. I could almost hear it. Slowly she became tired. I couldn't believe she was going through this alone. When she left she was definitely alone. WHy didn't she ever tell me??
But I was 14. What did I know? What could I have done? I had my suspicions when she was here and yet I never mentioned it to her anyway. So who am I to be angry? I was only her little sister. I couldn't tell her things would be alright, because I don't think they were going to be alright.
And now, it's been almost 6 years. I wonder how she's doing? Where she is.. If she's ok. If she'll ever come back here and drop in to say hi....
.. ask me how I'm doing.
Maybe it's 'cos I write so much shit that I can't remember it all. But in the past day or two, I've been having ideas on things to blog. And I'm sitting there squirming, trying to keep it in my head so the next time I come to the computer, I can remember it and blog it. But I can't remember!! Everything slips through me like grains of sand..
I'm amidst watching Corner with Love. And it's good. Typical love story. It's cute.
So....... who loves me enough to buy the things on my wish list for me?
Something triggered a thought for me the other day. It was really random. The thought of my lost sister. Ok she's not lost. Just gone. I never missed her so much until that day. And she's been gone for almost 6 years. She was the best sister I never had. I always thought she was just my really older friend who always came over to see me do nothing. I never thought about how much she taught me. All the little things in life.
Aware that she had unhappiness in her life, I always saw the smiled she had on her face and it was that and confindence that she portrayed to the world. I thought I'd never feel what she felt. Because her life was too dramatic. But that is life. Dramatic.
She always had time for me. No matter what. It never occurred to me that whenever I wanted to go over to her house I could. Whenever I wanted her at my house 'cos I couldn't be bothered to walk to hers, she would come. Whenever I wanted to go to the park she would take me.
When she left Australia, I was so angry that she never confided in me the tragics of her life. I could see it growing in her. I saw. Everybody saw. But she didn't say a word and continued smiling while her heart was crying. I could almost hear it. Slowly she became tired. I couldn't believe she was going through this alone. When she left she was definitely alone. WHy didn't she ever tell me??
But I was 14. What did I know? What could I have done? I had my suspicions when she was here and yet I never mentioned it to her anyway. So who am I to be angry? I was only her little sister. I couldn't tell her things would be alright, because I don't think they were going to be alright.
And now, it's been almost 6 years. I wonder how she's doing? Where she is.. If she's ok. If she'll ever come back here and drop in to say hi....
.. ask me how I'm doing.
-{ missing you 7/21/2007 02:28:00 pm }-