Friday, August 31, 2007
- i will find a better day -
I also want a 365 day project. :(((
I will when I cbf. Soon.
But what is it about life that is puzzling me. Something that is making it all oh-so-not-quite-right. I'm tired of thinking about the things I need not worry about, but the thoughts won't stop. I'm so sad when I think about the past that there the nothingness I can do pains me even more. My anger for people and society infuriates me to a point where I will turns things up a notch, to a point of no return.
My dreams reveal my deepest desires and for that bit I am scared. Who ruined it for me? Who has tainted my thoughts? Thinking I was in control was the worst choice I have made. Because it is KNOWING that you are in control that matters. I didn't know. I just thought. Now this has all happened.
SOmeone told me that with freedom, comes resposibility. Which is true. But that doesn't mean that everyone shouldn't be responsible in general. It counts when you must taken 'responsibility' for your own actions. For what you say to people, for how you treat others. Responbility comes to play when you know how to deal with the situations that life throw at you.
It means growing up.
Whatever you hold dear and close to your heart you will figure out a way to make things work. What wasn't meant to be will drift and take another course of its own. I know that everything I love most is within arms reach of me now. I know even through the hard times, I held onto it without the imprints of my fingers left behind. And that's why the things I love most are within arms reach.
Shoulders are absent right now. I'll go find my pillow and rest my head.
I will when I cbf. Soon.
But what is it about life that is puzzling me. Something that is making it all oh-so-not-quite-right. I'm tired of thinking about the things I need not worry about, but the thoughts won't stop. I'm so sad when I think about the past that there the nothingness I can do pains me even more. My anger for people and society infuriates me to a point where I will turns things up a notch, to a point of no return.
My dreams reveal my deepest desires and for that bit I am scared. Who ruined it for me? Who has tainted my thoughts? Thinking I was in control was the worst choice I have made. Because it is KNOWING that you are in control that matters. I didn't know. I just thought. Now this has all happened.
SOmeone told me that with freedom, comes resposibility. Which is true. But that doesn't mean that everyone shouldn't be responsible in general. It counts when you must taken 'responsibility' for your own actions. For what you say to people, for how you treat others. Responbility comes to play when you know how to deal with the situations that life throw at you.
It means growing up.
Whatever you hold dear and close to your heart you will figure out a way to make things work. What wasn't meant to be will drift and take another course of its own. I know that everything I love most is within arms reach of me now. I know even through the hard times, I held onto it without the imprints of my fingers left behind. And that's why the things I love most are within arms reach.
Shoulders are absent right now. I'll go find my pillow and rest my head.
-{ missing you 8/31/2007 02:27:00 am }-