Sunday, August 05, 2007
- whatever suits your fancy -
I think I blogged too much last week that I'm having blogging withdrawal symptoms. Happens to me a lot doesn't it?
Well anyways, something sparked this thought in me the other night. I'm pretty sure everyone's been in the position of being the centre of gossip, as in, been the subject of the gossip right? And here onwards, I might have to reestablish the word gossip. I used it wrongly. I think I did it purposely though. Gossip, is nasty and vicious.. kind of. But what's that other thing when you talk ABOUT someone to others? Factual information discussion? I'm not sure as to where I'm going with this....
You can't stop people talking about you. You are responsible for your actions and should know the consequences of the post-situation. I don't think you could really excuse yourself from it, rather take it as a momentary thrill and the long term guilt or regret. OR whatever. I don't know.
I can't get my head around the fact that things that go around aren't in fact gossip. And boy, things go around faster than you can say 'bok choy'. They are facts. They are truths. Who knows the truths none other than your friends? Does that mean to say your friends are spreading factual information about you to others? WHat's wrong with that? It's factual. One's life always brings out the voyeur in another.
I don't know if I'm disturbed by my life being a discussion topic, or that my friends are doing the discussing. I don't know how to feel. I'm not feeling anythig as such. I hope I don't feel anything afterwards. Because I don't want to blow up in anyone's face or on this blog for that matter. I am not accusing, I am not blaming. Don't be angry because I am not.
My horoscope says, Think of the full moon as a spotlight. Around your birthday it illuminates the part of your chart that you prefer to keep hidden. It obliges you to look at yourself as others see you - what is expected of you, what kind of a reputation you have, what friends and loved ones truly feel about you. It's not bad news. You are much loved, admired and appreciated. But there are some truths that need to be acknowledged and some changes that ought to be made. Don't fear these, embrace them.
I always said truth was the best policy. But who the fuck tells truths these days? It's all about lies. We went car hunting today, and my brother mentioned that the owner of the car we were looking at, looked like a decent guy and he wouldn't tell any lies and shit. But. He's trying to sell his car. White lies at the least, need to be told, unless you have a 100% perfect car. MEH.
Who am I kidding? I'm always telling lies. If not. Withholding the truth. I wouldn't believe you in a second if you told me you never tell lies. You're not perfect.
What is expected of me? What reputation do I have? And with that thought, how can anyone admire me or appreciate me? What is it that is me or not me that turns away my friends or makes people raise their eyebrows?
The other night, when I saw my friend drunk off her face and trying to get with a guy that I knew was going out with my friends friend, I almost vomited. It was disgusting. Disgusting to the pit of my stomach that she was the way she was.
Some things aren't for me to comment on. Because people have their reasons to do what they do.
I smell like burnt wood. Maybe because I was standing in front of a fire half the night because it was fucking cold.
Well anyways, something sparked this thought in me the other night. I'm pretty sure everyone's been in the position of being the centre of gossip, as in, been the subject of the gossip right? And here onwards, I might have to reestablish the word gossip. I used it wrongly. I think I did it purposely though. Gossip, is nasty and vicious.. kind of. But what's that other thing when you talk ABOUT someone to others? Factual information discussion? I'm not sure as to where I'm going with this....
You can't stop people talking about you. You are responsible for your actions and should know the consequences of the post-situation. I don't think you could really excuse yourself from it, rather take it as a momentary thrill and the long term guilt or regret. OR whatever. I don't know.
I can't get my head around the fact that things that go around aren't in fact gossip. And boy, things go around faster than you can say 'bok choy'. They are facts. They are truths. Who knows the truths none other than your friends? Does that mean to say your friends are spreading factual information about you to others? WHat's wrong with that? It's factual. One's life always brings out the voyeur in another.
I don't know if I'm disturbed by my life being a discussion topic, or that my friends are doing the discussing. I don't know how to feel. I'm not feeling anythig as such. I hope I don't feel anything afterwards. Because I don't want to blow up in anyone's face or on this blog for that matter. I am not accusing, I am not blaming. Don't be angry because I am not.
My horoscope says, Think of the full moon as a spotlight. Around your birthday it illuminates the part of your chart that you prefer to keep hidden. It obliges you to look at yourself as others see you - what is expected of you, what kind of a reputation you have, what friends and loved ones truly feel about you. It's not bad news. You are much loved, admired and appreciated. But there are some truths that need to be acknowledged and some changes that ought to be made. Don't fear these, embrace them.
I always said truth was the best policy. But who the fuck tells truths these days? It's all about lies. We went car hunting today, and my brother mentioned that the owner of the car we were looking at, looked like a decent guy and he wouldn't tell any lies and shit. But. He's trying to sell his car. White lies at the least, need to be told, unless you have a 100% perfect car. MEH.
Who am I kidding? I'm always telling lies. If not. Withholding the truth. I wouldn't believe you in a second if you told me you never tell lies. You're not perfect.
What is expected of me? What reputation do I have? And with that thought, how can anyone admire me or appreciate me? What is it that is me or not me that turns away my friends or makes people raise their eyebrows?
The other night, when I saw my friend drunk off her face and trying to get with a guy that I knew was going out with my friends friend, I almost vomited. It was disgusting. Disgusting to the pit of my stomach that she was the way she was.
Some things aren't for me to comment on. Because people have their reasons to do what they do.
I smell like burnt wood. Maybe because I was standing in front of a fire half the night because it was fucking cold.
-{ missing you 8/05/2007 03:28:00 pm }-