Monday, November 19, 2007
- eve, the apple of my eye -
SOmetimes you go through some really easy fun days. Sometimes it's really interesting nights and it provides you with a confirmation that your friends are always there for you when you need them.
But sometimes it's not the case. People have their lives to run, their problems and issues to deal with.
When I found out a friend that I considered close to being my best friend .. hasn't been telling me anything that happens in their life while I'm spilling my stories every chance I get, really makes me wonder what kind of friend I am, and for what kind of friend am I being considered as.
I'm no 'chao ren' and I can't help with everything. But when I am oblivious to the most important details in your life, I feel like a fool telling everyone you're a really good friend of mine. Sure I never minded that you didn't know when my birthday was. Sure I didn't mind you didn't like some of my friends or made the effort to like them. But I am lacking so much from you.
We worked everything out. EVERYTHING. But whatever. It hasn’t worked out the way it's supposed to be.
But I can't do anything about it. And that's what makes me scared. You are no longer my rock, my shoulder to cry on, and the person that is there for me, no matter what. You have rejected me and humiliated me.
It's devastating that only I will know of this. And that I will have to continue to pretend like everything is ok.
haizZ. What to do. The people you want in your life aren't there. I'll get through it by myself. I'll get through January by myself. I can't keep relying on others to get me through.
That letter J is so bitter sweet.
~Listening to: JJ Lin - Baby Baby
But sometimes it's not the case. People have their lives to run, their problems and issues to deal with.
When I found out a friend that I considered close to being my best friend .. hasn't been telling me anything that happens in their life while I'm spilling my stories every chance I get, really makes me wonder what kind of friend I am, and for what kind of friend am I being considered as.
I'm no 'chao ren' and I can't help with everything. But when I am oblivious to the most important details in your life, I feel like a fool telling everyone you're a really good friend of mine. Sure I never minded that you didn't know when my birthday was. Sure I didn't mind you didn't like some of my friends or made the effort to like them. But I am lacking so much from you.
We worked everything out. EVERYTHING. But whatever. It hasn’t worked out the way it's supposed to be.
But I can't do anything about it. And that's what makes me scared. You are no longer my rock, my shoulder to cry on, and the person that is there for me, no matter what. You have rejected me and humiliated me.
It's devastating that only I will know of this. And that I will have to continue to pretend like everything is ok.
haizZ. What to do. The people you want in your life aren't there. I'll get through it by myself. I'll get through January by myself. I can't keep relying on others to get me through.
That letter J is so bitter sweet.
~Listening to: JJ Lin - Baby Baby
-{ missing you 11/19/2007 12:17:00 am }-