Sunday, December 16, 2007
- [untitled] -
Her tears have been falling the more she gets older. Maybe I was just young and stupid and saw less of it before.. But now it is ever so frequent, whether it be tears caused by me or him.
Now I'm sitting here as her tears fall because of him. I watch them fall, too scared to wipe them from her face, too scared to invade on her space. I sit here and watch her, hoping that watching her can provide some comfort because I know my words cannot.
I watch her and my eyes become misty but no tears fall. Have I become hard and cold? I used to cry at the sight of her crying. But I have become resistant to her tears that I have caused because I saw them as my weakness to give in to my own happiness.
But that is exactly what is happening now. I am asking him to give up his happiness because her tears are falling. Because every tear she cries is a stab to the heart.
I've just realised how much pain I must have caused her.
And how much tears has cried to keep us together.
Now my tears also fall as I realise this. And that I can't function when I see her pain.
How do I live with knowing we are the cause of her pain?
Now I'm sitting here as her tears fall because of him. I watch them fall, too scared to wipe them from her face, too scared to invade on her space. I sit here and watch her, hoping that watching her can provide some comfort because I know my words cannot.
I watch her and my eyes become misty but no tears fall. Have I become hard and cold? I used to cry at the sight of her crying. But I have become resistant to her tears that I have caused because I saw them as my weakness to give in to my own happiness.
But that is exactly what is happening now. I am asking him to give up his happiness because her tears are falling. Because every tear she cries is a stab to the heart.
I've just realised how much pain I must have caused her.
And how much tears has cried to keep us together.
Now my tears also fall as I realise this. And that I can't function when I see her pain.
How do I live with knowing we are the cause of her pain?
-{ missing you 12/16/2007 01:58:00 pm }-