Sunday, May 31, 2009
- Because I know, I don't belong, here in heaven. -
Because I know, I don't belong, here in heaven.
Funny how things turn out.
Tonight's drive home was a trip down memory lane...
As I turned into the short-cut dark path through the industrial area, I looked on. Into the eery darkness, I put my high-beam on. Everytime I take this path, I think to myself, of all the possible freaky shit that could jump my path; a crazy hobo jump at my car, a mangled dead body on the road, an abandoned child in the middle of the road, a vengeful ghost. It shits me. I can't help it when it's as dark as that and I can't see what's ahead.
And then just as I make a left, I remember one hot February's summer in 2007 where I parked my car on that corner before turning left and sat there reading a valentine's card. It was from a colleague almost 10 years my senior and I read his words written in poor grammar and bad writing about how he liked me, not just as a little sister. I took out the present, took the perfume and ditched the box into the bushes. There was a bear and I was going to ditch that too, but then I figured, that's not fair on the bear. And there was also the card.
I went home and burned that card.
Back then, that corner was never scary... Driving was never scary. I was afraid of nothing and full of pride. I took things from people and didn't feel ashamed. I burned his thought and love like it was nothing. Because, it was nothing to me.
I couldn't have been any more braver than how I was then. Everything to gain and nothing to lose.
And then I drove past that round-about. I mean, AROUND the round-about. Sigh.
-{ missing you 5/31/2009 01:15:00 am }-