Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I wrote a post a while ago about a person who had quite an opinion about me. It never really bothered me, because I couldn't care less what this person thought about me, even though I knew that deep down I wasn't that sort of person. So in my mind, this person could go to hell for all I care, or not - didn't bother me where he went, just far away from me because I'd appreciate the judgment (or no judgement would be nice too) from afar and wanted none of the nice-to-your-face crap.
For a long long time, this person stopped appearing in my life. And then a few weeks ago, I see him in the bus line - my bus line. When I saw him, I purposely missed the bus because seeing him for the first time, after hearing what he said about me, infuriated me. The second time, I'm standing in line and see him headed my way. SHIT! I can't get out of the line... I'm not going to lose my place 'cos of this fucker. And he actually stops to say, 'Hey Lisa'. I gave him a 'hey' back and sort of tried to brush him off. The nerve to talk to me! Sigh, the next time, he actually stands besides me and strikes a conversation. So fuck me, I'm talking to him.
What strikes me by surprise is my subtle hatred for my story's antagonist. So much for not caring right? There's really no such thing as not caring. As much as it doesn't bother me, I obviously don't want to be labeled such a bad person. Unfortunately in my case, where actions speak louder than words, my actions were probably worse than his words.
When someone tells me they don't care, I know they do. Because when you don't care, you don't talk about it. When you don't care, you don't think about it. When you don't care, you definitely don't blog about it!! AND you most definitely don't need to keep emphasising the "fact" that you don't care.
On another matter, in our 'General Inbox' at work, there's an email from a guy name 'Punani..something'. PUNANI!!!WTEF???
For a long long time, this person stopped appearing in my life. And then a few weeks ago, I see him in the bus line - my bus line. When I saw him, I purposely missed the bus because seeing him for the first time, after hearing what he said about me, infuriated me. The second time, I'm standing in line and see him headed my way. SHIT! I can't get out of the line... I'm not going to lose my place 'cos of this fucker. And he actually stops to say, 'Hey Lisa'. I gave him a 'hey' back and sort of tried to brush him off. The nerve to talk to me! Sigh, the next time, he actually stands besides me and strikes a conversation. So fuck me, I'm talking to him.
What strikes me by surprise is my subtle hatred for my story's antagonist. So much for not caring right? There's really no such thing as not caring. As much as it doesn't bother me, I obviously don't want to be labeled such a bad person. Unfortunately in my case, where actions speak louder than words, my actions were probably worse than his words.
When someone tells me they don't care, I know they do. Because when you don't care, you don't talk about it. When you don't care, you don't think about it. When you don't care, you definitely don't blog about it!! AND you most definitely don't need to keep emphasising the "fact" that you don't care.
On another matter, in our 'General Inbox' at work, there's an email from a guy name 'Punani..something'. PUNANI!!!WTEF???
-{ missing you 2/16/2010 07:58:00 pm }-