Friday, January 28, 2011
- when memories get in the way -
So I'm in that mood where I'm reading your blog and I somehow propel myself into the thought of the days when I was still in uni. Can you believe it's been so long?
So I'm reading about numerous mentions, shoutouts and stories. Stories that we all shared once and laughed about and enjoyed. I'm faced with this pain of bringing up the good times which can no longer exist with you. And I ask myself, what went wrong? Although I may know the answers, and it may have been my fault, I still ask that damn question every fucking time you seep into my mind.
I reminisce those days where there were so many opportunities to meet people and I (tried) to put myself out there to be a friendly approachable person. Now I'm set in concrete in my comfort zone where I need not move, change or please people.
And now when you walk by, I'm met by anger, frustration and envy of that smug look on your face. I want that smug look. I don't want that look of desperation where I wish to be your friend again.
I'll leave the door on the latch if you ever come back if you ever come back
So I'm reading about numerous mentions, shoutouts and stories. Stories that we all shared once and laughed about and enjoyed. I'm faced with this pain of bringing up the good times which can no longer exist with you. And I ask myself, what went wrong? Although I may know the answers, and it may have been my fault, I still ask that damn question every fucking time you seep into my mind.
I reminisce those days where there were so many opportunities to meet people and I (tried) to put myself out there to be a friendly approachable person. Now I'm set in concrete in my comfort zone where I need not move, change or please people.
And now when you walk by, I'm met by anger, frustration and envy of that smug look on your face. I want that smug look. I don't want that look of desperation where I wish to be your friend again.
I'll leave the door on the latch if you ever come back if you ever come back
-{ missing you 1/28/2011 11:35:00 pm }-