Sunday, April 24, 2011

Or rather, a lack of. This month has been all over the place for me. It's interesting to know where I stand after all this drama. I don't think it has changed me much. I'm still unsure as to where I'm headed, or supposed to be headed. An unexpected highlight for me this month was hanging out with Ed's relatives whilst they were in Perth visiting/ attending his sister's wedding. They were great, even the older folks. I even managed to string some cantonese words together and have everyone compliment on my poor cantonese skills, obligingly of course. The wedding was just amazing. The day was quite extensive and even I was quite tired after, but nevertheless such a great day, even if I wasn't a big part of it.

I've met a whole lot of new people this month too. Some of which I've enjoyed their company very much, some of which whom I may never see again. Others, who I just won't have that opportunity to enjoy their company anymore, purely because the chance we had in meeting,was such an oddball occasion to begin with. People fascinate me, even if they annoy me the slightest bit, I still found so many of the events enjoyable and insightful.

I also found myself in many nostalgic moments: ktv with different people in a room where I used to be safe and ruled the drinks, mic and fobs *evol lauf*. The people I used to k with made me the person I am today and were the reason I loved to k. They are the reason I stepped back into the ktv room with these people I was foreign in ktving with...; Clubbing in a new club, same music, different people, same morals, different life status. It fucked up a lot of things and made me think back to the days when the only consequence was degrading ones own life and decadence of the soul. Made me make a lot of stupid decisions and made me doubt my life choices. Made me realise that I'm the same weak, pathetic girl I was back then, who sought validation from unimportant people.

April has taught me that there is nothing wrong with being strict on myself and that all I have to do is think before I act. Thinking will allow me to grasp the concept and comprehend all the outcomes and consequences which would follow the act. Thinking will allow me to remember my goal and my purpose.

Verdict? I'm back on track with a good sense of direction.